Garfield's Descent

Down into the pits of Hell
Garfield descends, where stories tell
Of the nine circles, each one worse
Than the last, a never-ending curse

First circle, Limbo, where the virtuous dwell
But alas, not Garfield, who to this circle fell
For his sins of laziness and gluttony
He must pay, an eternal penalty

Second circle, Lust, where passion runs wild
But Garfield remains unaffected, his passions mild
For his love of lasagna knows no bounds
But love for others, he has not found

Third circle, Gluttony, where gluttons reside
But Garfield's appetite, it cannot be denied
He eats and eats, a never-ending feast
But finds no satisfaction, only unrest

Fourth circle, Greed, where avarice reigns supreme
But Garfield, he just wants to eat his cream
His love of food consumes him whole
But greed for wealth, he does not know

Fifth circle, Anger, where tempers flare
But Garfield just naps, without a care
His laziness keeps him calm and cool
Anger, it does not rule

Sixth circle, Heresy, where false beliefs lie
But Garfield, he just wants to sit and sigh
His lack of ambition keeps him here
But he does not question, does not fear

Seventh circle, Violence, where the violent stay
But Garfield, he just wants to sleep all day
In his laziness, he finds peace
Violence, it has no release

Eighth circle, Fraud, where deceit abounds
But Garfield, he just wants to lay on the ground
His honesty keeps him pure
Fraud, it is not something to endure

Ninth circle, Treachery, where betrayal lies
But Garfield, he just wants to close his eyes
His loyalty keeps him true
Treachery, it does not ensue

Down in the pits of Hell, Garfield resides
But his peaceful nature, it never dies
He accepts his fate, with calm and grace
In this eternal, burning place.